I started the #BrighteningMyDarkestDays hashtag because I’ve been there. I’ve had my dark days where everything is so dark and everything seems so pointless. I also knew that it wouldn’t last, but I just didn’t know how to get myself out of it. So I started #BrighteningMyDarkestDays in hopes that we could all share what helped get us through it in hopes that it’ll help others through their darkest days.
Let’s help others get out of that funk!!!!
I watched myself get sucked in. It was like watching myself get sucked into a black hole. It’s dark. It’s lonely. It’s a place I never want to be in again. We’ve all had dark times in our lives. Sometimes we just need a little help getting out of it.
I had been on medical leave from school for 10 months before I was allowed to take review classes so that I can start the program where I left it. I was attending my classes, relearning, reviewing when I got diagnosed with 4 spinal conditions. My back hurt; I couldn’t sit for too long and I couldn’t stand for too long. And doing household chores became a literal PAIN. A month after the diagnosis, I got into a car accident and even if the car wasn’t totalled… it made my back WORSE! Pain killers became a necessity until they stopped working. I still need them, but my resistance is up. My pain was so bad that I had a hard time at work – I had been helping a previous teacher with her tanning salon. I was in so much pain… it was a miserable time.
I spoke to my doctor and explained to him the situation. I could look at the clock one minute… and forget it within the next – it just wasn’t right. I wasn’t as hungry. I’m constantly tired… *sigh*
He diagnosed me with clinical depression. With my back hurting and my depression, I had to stop working and attending classes. I just couldn’t do it.
I lacked the energy. I lacked motivation. I couldn’t even get out of bed. Everything seemed like a chore and I didn’t see the point.
What helped me may be surprising. It sure shocked me but hey… it worked.
Mr. J got me an Nintendo DSXL for our anniversary (…that’s what I wanted. What can I say? =P) and a bunch of games. I played it all.the.time. Day in and day out. Night after night. I told my counsellor about it. I don’t think she liked it very much that I was spending so much time on it.
But you know what? I did. It gave me something else to focus on. I wasn’t focus on how miserable I felt. It even got me out of bed. Sometimes it even got me out of the house…. to get more games. I played it so much that I finished a game in 4 days. You can say that I was a little obsessed with my DS. I had something to look forward to. For one month, I played with my DS. I was focused on kicking some butt on every level! I didn’t sleep my days away.
I believe that as long as it helps you, it’s okay. I know that many professionals may disagree with me, But from someone who’s been there, I believe that if it helps you even a little bit it’s okay.